You know when you're just fartin' around doing jack all, do you ever get like really horney?
haha because I do!! It's like, there's nothing left to think about. But the good sex I'm not, but could, be having.


Kiiiiinda hope I'm not alone on this one.

I havn't HIT any brick wall, but I've been staring at one waiting to be pushed.
A bump on the head could go a long way and maybe even knock some actual sense into my shrivelled prune size brain.

First things first, I'm not TRYING to insult myself. I just need guidance, love, and advice from my friends. Which I havn't gotten in a long time. Except from one person. Who fuckin rules at it, but isn't around for me most of the time. Which often makes me even sadder.

Those who are around me, as much as they're around me, can make me feel as if the situations I'm going through arn't as important as theirs. I know they don't mean it that way, but cutting me off mid sentence when I'm really about to crack to talk about whether or not your room mate has done the dishes... kinda makes me feel small. I'm not bitching, I'm just lost in the sense of who to talk to, and that shows me that maybe it can't be you guys sometimes.

I feel so weak now-a-days. Obsessively thinking about the negatives in my life. Getting drunk and bauling to Matt, when he's going through so much himself. I'm a jerk man!

I got this new livejournal because I want a lot of things to start new. I don't want to be reminded all the time of the way things were, because as much as I try to look back and smile, I often only find myself sitting blankly, staring at that brick wall.

Also, I don't want to read any entry about a certain someone.. because I don't want to think about him. The feelings arn't completely gone, seeing as they've been there and he's been there for so long. Frankly I thought something could come out of us for sooooo long, up until Saturday. Which has been my new motivation to move on. Not thinking about him, will help the feelings go.

I'm confused. I'm lost. And I'm stuck here. Trapt. Staring sadly at my dead end.